Restless for Reaping

This is one of those blog posts that I hesitated to post because it’s so personal, but as it has always been my heart to share openly in the hope that it will encourage others, and as I felt a ‘green light’ on sharing, here it is…

It started with me expressing frustration to God. I knew that what I was praying was flawed and incomplete but I was just trying to express – however clumsily – my heart, trusting that He would sort me out in the process as he usually does. I’m saying that because I don’t want anyone reading this to think that I am setting forth my opinion as accurate or even correct. But if you identify with it or find any of it challenging, you will hopefully be encouraged with the reply I received…

I had been wrestling with distraction for much of my prayer time, but as soon as I confessed it God interrupted my confession to forgive me. He’s merciful like that. And in my gratitude for His kindness I felt released to see and share how tired & frustrated I was feeling with all the ‘talk’ going on at present. I am blessed with the privilege of relationship with many leaders and am currently involved in many prophetic and strategic conversations that are important and probably hold much truth and wisdom. But inside my heart something has been stirring for quite a while that has been growing much louder over the past month. In no way do I want to speak against any of the amazing leaders that I am in contact with, but at the same time I have been feeling increasingly restless/ confined… verging (if this isn’t too shocking) on boredom! There is a voice inside me growing louder by the day, that is demanding “stop talking and just get on with the commission to GO!” (Remember as I said at the beginning, I know this is flawed and not God’s whole truth – but I do believe He is in it somewhere).

I know without a doubt that he has called me – as all of us – to pray. This year in particular there has been a renewed focus on prayer that has been so encouraging. It is a joy and a privilege to engage in intimate relationship with God in that way, and I can never get enough of relationship with Him. But beyond that I have lost all interest in things that I used to love: musical ‘worship’, organised church meetings, and even prophecy is starting to feel a bit empty at times when those receiving it don’t take time to pray it through. It seems like everyone is sharing their revelations, or worse, their opinions – but few people seem to be acting on them. Forgive me if that sounds judgemental – only God sees people’s hearts. And yet there is a dissatisfaction in my heart that I believe is at least partly from heaven. And it’s this:

When will we stop talking and just get on with the mission?

I know that could be read as coming from a stinky attitude, but having repented of any of that that may be lurking, I believe that on a deeper level this growing restlessness is because of a fresh call, a fresh grace that is being/ about to be released, so I’m really not trying to condemn anyone. To be honest, I’ve been dreaming about outreach for years but have been feeling held back. I confessed my own fears/ laziness etc, but still struggled, and unless I am deluding myself, I do believe that not all of it was sin. Some of that hesitancy was because in the Spirit I was waiting for a season shift.
And now I have a real hope that that season shift is either imminent or here.

I don’t want to be a voice telling people what to do or even what God has said. I want to be out there on the mission field winning souls & making disciples for Jesus. Historically I’ve been rubbish at it. I’ve done my best to disciple people and encourage them all to get closer to God regardless of their starting point when I met them. And for decades that has satisfied me (most of the time). But not any more. So I took it to God this morning to ask Him if I was just being judgemental/ emotional/ hormonal/ fickle – or if there was something of Him in all the restlessness. And this is what – to the best of my ability – I believe He replied (*I’m sharing some parts that He spoke personally to me because I believe He is also speaking them to many others – probably including you who are reading)…

I am stirring up my burning ones, my firebrands who will not accept the status quo. They will ignite a passion among others for My number one priority: that all may be saved. Yes, there is still a place for prophecy, sung worship, even church meetings. My Church still needs leaders, strategists, pastors and teachers – and all of these do need to have a vision for what I am grace-ing them to do for the Kingdom. But My Church in the West has neglected My Great Commission, and so I am restoring it to its rightful place.
Just as I opened this year with a wave of prayer, so I am releasing another wave: a call to evangelism, stirring the hearts of my own dear ones with My passion for the lost. It will not come from a place of dreaded obligation, but for those whose hearts are open to being captivated by Mine, it will come as a fresh, compelling passion – and you are one of those who are catching the fire.
Keep pressing in, beloved – as you cry out for souls, just see how I am going to use you.
I am changing the direction of My Church so her focus is less on revival and more on souls. I am reviving My Bride to her place as co-labourer in My great harvest.

Thank You Lord!

I’ll be honest, I do not see myself as an evangelist in any way. But the call and hunger for souls is not just for evangelists – it is for every believer whose heart belongs to God; every Christian who has ever sung “break my heart for what breaks Yours”; every disciple of Christ. And so much as I am daily faced with my own weaknesses and failures I pray to the same God who turned Simon Peter from a fearful denier of Christ to a bold ambassador for Christ. And I pray that He would fill me – and us all – with His Spirit for boldness to head out into the harvest and see a multitude saved. Amen